As dumb teen sex comedies go, this one is a dud.
Top scorers on Gerald R. Ford High School’s football team – both on and off the field – Shawn (Nicholas D’Agosto) and Nick (Eric Christian Olsen) decide to bypass Tigers’ training camp in El Paso with foul-mouthed Coach Byrnes (Philip Baker Hall) in favor of cheerleading camp at Southeastern Illinois University. Why? ‘Cause that’s where the girls are.
Shawn falls for suspicious Carly (Sarah Roemer), the squad captain, who’s involved with a jerky, pre-med college student who already refers to himself as ‘Dr. Rick’ (David Walton) and drives a BMW convertible, while Nick goes for a hottie 30 year-old, Diora (Molly Sims), whom he describes as “ancient and desperate” and who also happens to be the wife of the camp’s not-so-closeted commander, Coach Keith (Michael John Higgins), “the skipper of this spirit ship.”
The most amusing scene is when the nubile cheerleaders watch the far-better cheerleading film, “Bring It On!” (2000), and recite in unison every line of Kirsten Dunst’s dialogue as they prepare for their perennial competition against the Panthers, led by gnarly Gwyneth (Annalynne McCord).
Two aspects of this sexual conquest project astounded me. First, how much prolific profanity, crude partying and male buttocks nudity now qualifies as PG-13. I mean, this is a really raunchy movie. And, second, how the casting director didn’t seem to care that these supposed ‘teenagers’ are far older – and look it. Nicholas D’Agosto (“Heroes”) is 28 and Eric Christian Olsen (“Eagle Eye,” “License to Wed”) is 31, as is David Walton (“Stateside”), while Sarah Roemer (“Disturbia”) is the youngest at 24.
While the insipid script with its stereotypical characters and double-entendres is enigmatically credited to someone’s pseudonym, “Freedom Jones,” longtime TV writer-producer Will Gluck is a first-time feature director – and his inexperience shows. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Fired Up!” is a smarmy 3. It’s an adolescent boy’s callow pom-pom fantasy.