SNATCHED — Review by Susan Granger

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Goofy comedienne Goldie Hawn (“Overboard,” “Bird on a Wire”) hasn’t made a film in 15 years, so I was really looking forward to her return to the silver screen, particularly teaming up with fearlessly funny Amy Schumer. Reviving her obnoxiously neurotic “Teamwork” persona, Schumer plays Emily Middleton, a potty-mouthed loser whose rock-star boyfriend (Randall Park) dumps her just after she’s splurged on a ‘nonrefundable’ vacation-for-two at a resort in exotic Ecuador. Continue reading…

Since no one else will accompany her, Emily convinces her uptight, over-protective, divorced mom Linda (Hawn) to go, whining, “Put the fun back in nonrefundable,” leaving her nerdy, agoraphobic brother Jeffrey (Ike Barinholtz) at home.

Venturing out to the pool, they’re immediately befriended by “strictly platonic” Ruth (Wanda Sykes) and Barb (Joan Cusack), who caution them about the kidnapping that’s about to occur when Emily convinces Linda to go on a ‘sight-seeing’ jaunt through the Amazon jungle with a handsome stranger named James (Tom Bateman) whom she met swilling cocktails at the bar.

Once they’re abducted by Morgado (Oscar Jaenada), a stereotypical Latino villain, and thrown into a filthy cell, the mother/daughter comedy grinds to a halt, as Emily learns to be less self-centered and stodgy Linda opens up to taking risks.

Throw in a chivalrous pseudo-adventurer/explorer (Christopher Meloni) and a disgusting tapeworm which takes center stage for far too long. Taking a jab at the ineptitude of the US State Dept., there’s also an ineffectual bureaucrat (Bashir Salahuddin) whose only advice to the victims is: “Get to Bogota.”

Scripted by Katie Dippold (“The Heat,” “Ghostbusters” remake) and directed by Jonathan Levine (“50/50,” “Warm Bodies”), it’s crude and vulgar – and only fitfully amusing. Perhaps because Levine lets some vacation-from-hell scenes go on too long and there’s little fractious, familial chemistry between Hawn and Schumer.

At 91 minutes, if feels interminable.

On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Snatched” is a flashy, flimsy 5. Cancel this trip.

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Susan Granger

Susan Granger is a product of Hollywood. Her natural father, S. Sylvan Simon, was a director and producer at R.K.O., M.G.M. and Columbia Pictures; her adoptive father, Armand Deutsch, produced movies at M.G.M. As a child, Susan appeared in movies with Abbott & Costello, Red Skelton, Lucille Ball, Margaret O'Brien and Lassie. She attended Mills College in California, studying journalism with Pierre Salinger, and graduated from the University of Pennsylvania, Phi Beta Kappa, with highest honors in journalism. During her adult life, Susan has been on radio and television as an anchorwoman and movie/drama critic. Her newspaper reviews have been syndicated around the world, and she has appeared on American Movie Classics cable television. In addition, her celebrity interviews and articles have been published in REDBOOK, PLAYBOY, FAMILY CIRCLE, COSMOPOLITAN, WORKING WOMAN and THE NEW YORK TIMES, as well as in PARIS MATCH, ELLE, HELLO, CARIBBEAN WORLD, ISLAND LIFE, MACO DESTINATIONS, NEWS LIMITED NEWSPAPERS (Australia), UK DAILY MAIL, UK SUNDAY MIRROR, DS (France), LA REPUBBLICA (Italy), BUNTE (Germany), VIP TRAVELLER (Krisworld) and many other international publications through SSG Syndicate. Susan also lectures on the "Magic and Mythology of Hollywood" and "Don't Take It Personally: Conquering Criticism and other Survival Skills," originally published on tape by Dove Audio.