Loretta’s well manicured, but shaky hand slowly inched closer to Alan’s creamy white bare buttocks. Yes, his perfectly shaped derrière was covered in leeches engorged with blood from his muscular body, but she secretly was attracted to him and knew she must overcome her fear and free him from his throbbing pain if their relationship was to survive.” This is The Lost City.
The PG 13, less sensual, more silly knock off of 1984’s Romancing the Stone stars Sandra Bullock as Loretta Sage, a successful adventure romance novelist who just wants to be alone. Instead her publicist thrusts her and her Fabio-like cover model on a promotional tour for her latest book where she gets kidnapped by an eccentric billionaire who wants Loretta to lead him to the ancient treasures she describes in her stories. Bullock, in what she says is her last film for a while because she also just wants to be alone, returns to physical farce in this spoof of rom coms.
Channing Tatum is her chiseled cover boy with more brawn than brains who comes to save her in his quest to become a real hero. Daniel Radcliffe is the rich villain and Da’Vine Joy Randolph is her agent who goes to extreme lengths to keep her client. The best scenes in The Lost City are the few with Brad Pitt as a mercenary and trainer named Trainer who comes to the rescue in more ways than one. The Lost City really could have remained missing though. Only our time is hijacked. Audiences will have fun, but the best scenes are on the trailer. Ricky gives The Lost City one forced eye open. Only in theaters.