YOU’RE DATING A NARCISSIST – Review by Lynn Venhaus
When Marissa Tomei’s name is on a cast list, one usually anticipates an engaging performance, but You’re Dating a Narcissist is a rare misfire.
Unfortunately, the contemporary romantic comedy may seem like it’s in her wheelhouse, but the female-forward film features a mixed bag of characters who lack depth, ultimately losing its way.
In her feature film debut, co-writer and director Ann Marie Allison waffles between a commentary on rom-com tropes while at the same time attempting to stage one. It’s well-meaning, with good performers, and handsomely shot, but lacks staying power, like so many high-concept rom-coms that miss the intended bullseye.
Tomei plays Judy, a histrionic, self-righteous psychology professor whose previous marriage collapsed because she was blinded by the charms of a narcissist. Since then, she has made a career out of advising women about the many red flags involved when a guy seems too good to be true.
Conveniently, her only daughter Eva (Ciara Bravo) is head-over-heels in love with Theo (Marco Pigossi), a doctor from a wealthy family in Los Angeles, and they impulsively plan to marry despite only knowing each other for six weeks. Rut-ro. Not only are red flags flying high, but alarm bells are going off like an outdoor tornado warning siren.
Not that it doesn’t have smart things to say about traps unsuspecting women fall for, but the script, co-written by Jenna Milly, intermingles three female experiences, and maybe the hot-mess best friend isn’t necessary with her own storyline.
Mama Bear goes ballistic, flying in from New York City to hopefully convince her only child that this is a bad idea. You can connect the dots from there.
Tomei, whose comedic timing was obvious in her 1992 Oscar-winning role in My Cousin Vinny, in recent years, has shown a flair for maternal yet sensual characters, such as Aunt May in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, whatever authenticity she displayed in dramas In the Bedroom and The Wrestler isn’t visible here.
She can play jaded, but the character is annoying and wears out her welcome. Shrill and paranoid, she pushes away her daughter, all the while trying to give tough love to the sad sack Diane (Sherry Cola), whose whiplash dealing with a cheating lover has turned her into a clingy, whiny woman.
Yet, while reading Judy’s book, she begins to take those points to heart. Cola is a funny comic actress but is badly served by her flighty character.
What Judy is saying is helpful – to a certain extent, but she goes about parenting all wrong — with the worst traits of helicopter parents coming out. She stalks Theo, the fiancé, uncovering troubling clues.
Yet, smooth-talking Theo says the right things. He thinks she has let her mother’s doubts creep into her head, and he’s probably right. One wonders about this guy who has an affluent socialite mother who called him “the little prince” when he was growing up, but he’s a mystery. A few nuggets are tossed, but because Theo is underwritten, we are left in the dark.
For being swept away, Eva is grounded, with a somewhat level head, and Bravo fares well as a sensible woman thinking she knows best. Her mother’s manipulations are off-putting.
All the characters have issues, except the boutique hotel proprietor (José María Yazpik), who seems like a prince of a fellow. And he has summed up Judy rather quickly, but that doesn’t stop an added layer of sexual tension. Although he seems like he’s in another movie entirely.
Everyone involved makes eye-rolling ridiculous choices in an increasingly frantic pace because the contrivances demand silliness – self-aware women at their worst. Still, one tries to sympathize – until the complications become too sitcom-y.
With all the psychobabble expressed in You’re Dating a Narcissist, one would think a psychology professor would know about overbearing mothers and overstepping boundaries? When a female-driven film is lacking, one is disappointed. One wants to care about these characters, but it’s not worth the investment.
The 91-minute film was made in 2024, premiered at the Austin Film Festival in 2025, and is now available in U.S. theaters.
